I’m 36 – not married and no kids. All of my friends have kids. That means there is no more of “Hey, let’s go to dinner tonight!” and a lot more of “let’s go to dinner next month, you name the date” and that is okay. My friends-with-kids are very busy and it is hard to get away. But here is what I want them to know:
-I love you. Your kids are an extension of you. I love them, too.
-When I text you to hang out, I fully realize that it won’t be like our past days of dinner and a movie. It will be in the form of me bringing pizza to your house and coloring with your kids, fill up their drinks for them, grab a second slice of pizza for them, wipe up that drink they spilled, and snuggle them while watching their favorite cartoon. Oh, and between all of that – you and I will get some talking in! All of that is okay. Remember my first bullet point?
-Yes, I still text you frequently and I may still email you. Maybe you reply and maybe you don’t. It’s okay. I know that you are, eventually, reading what I write and I know that you do care. It’s just hard to express when somebody has spilled their cereal on the floor the moment you were reading my text.
-I know that you are busy and some days you want to escape. Let me help with that! I’d be more than happy to oblige if you texted me “I’m losing my mind. Can you come watch my kids for an hour?” or “please bring me coffee” or “I need an extra set of hands when I go grocery shopping tonight” I am happy to oblige!! I never offer those things because as a non-parent, I don’t want to accidentally offend you. I’m not insinuating that I could do a better job, I’m just saying that I love you and I want to help.
Take advantage of your non-parent friends, moms!! We may not have our own children, but we are probably going to be excited for the opportunity to help you. Before you had kids, it was easy to surprise you. Bringing you a coffee at work was an easy way to brighten your day. Now that you’re a parent it is different. If I stop by your house unannounced with coffee – am I interrupting nap time? Are you cleaning up poo smeared on the wall and not at all wanting a visitor? Are YOU catching a precious nap? You see the difference. My desire to make your day brighter is still the same, but just how to do it is trickier. Help me help you!