Afraid to fail? It’s the new success!

This week hasn’t been so great…I made an error in judgement at work that is lasting longer than I’d like it to last.

I’m no brain surgeon, so at least my errors don’t result in the death of a person.  Thankfully.

It did result in the inconvenience of a customer who then made some calls, let about 5 people above me know the error, me getting called into the office for a lecture…fun stuff.

The customer was right – I was wrong.  In retrospect, I have no doubts about that.  At the time, it didn’t seem like a bad call. 

The problem is that I’m not very good at handling criticism.  I don’t get mad or defensive, rather I mull it over in my mind overandoverandoverandover until I feel so terrible about it that I’m ready to change jobs assuming I’m terrible at this one.  Probably the person who lectured me has nearly forgotten it happened.  But here we are 48 hours later and it’s still on my mind so much, I hoped that writing about it might help it to leave my mind. 

I’ve pep-talked myself, fed myself candy, ate Mexican food for lunch, did web searches on “how to accept criticism”  Pretty much I’ve obsessed over getting over it.  I’m still not over it.  My brain is saying this: You were doing something you don’t normally do, and was out of your comfort zone.  You messed up, and was told about it.  Accept it, learn from it, and move forward.  My heart is wishing I could go back to that moment and change my decision. 

It could be worse.  I could be that FedEx guy who tossed the monitor over the gate.  His week can’t be going so great, either.  I’ll bet he’d trade places with me.

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