Never really been here

I’m in a unique position this Sunday morning.  For maybe the first time in my whole life I have no real obligation to be at church.  I grew up going to church, and it was always expected that we would go, and I never questioned it.  When I was old enough (19 years old) I became a Sunday School teacher and have done that up until last week – 14 years as a Sunday School teacher!  This morning, I am not.  I’m old enough that my parents can’t make me go, and I have no obligation to my pastor or class to be there.

I will go to church this morning simply because I am in need of a Savior.  Simply because I want to connect with Him.  It’s a weird stripped away feeling…knowing that I could sit here on the computer all day and nobody would miss me there (They’d notice I wasn’t there, but there would be no repercussions of my absence.) Instead I’m going for me…so that I can worship Him, and that’s the only reason.

It’s why I stepped down from teaching to begin with –  I wanted church to become something that wasn’t out of habit or obligation.  I want my walk with God to be organic – if that makes sense.  We have mid-week prayer services and I would go because all teachers were expected to be there.  I want to go because I need to be there and not because I’m supposed to be there.

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