Girl Crush

There really is no other way to put it, I have a girl crush on Shoshana Bean.  I’ve never met her nor have I seen her live, but I love her.  Judging by YouTube videos and following her on Twitter, she has such a beautiful spirit that I’m drawn into.  She has something I don’t have – the ability to attack something with abandon and put her everything into it.  She has dreams to fulfil and does it. 

We’re the same age so it’s easy to compare myself to her – and I don’t mean that in a bad way.  She has talents that I don’t possess so I wouldn’t compare myself to her talent-wise and I don’t even compare myself to her when it comes to success.  I’m a bank teller – not much chance of being famous or that kind of success haha!  I compare myself to her in that, she’s 33 and I’m 33.  She has dreams left to chase and she’s chasing them.  I have dreams to chase, so I’ve got to chase them. 

My dreams are different than hers.  I want to finish college – I talked about it for years how “I wish I could go back…” but I finally did go back and have just four classes left to having my Associates degree!  I want to attack my life with abandon regardless of what anyone things. And even regardless of how other people don’t grab their dreams, but instead talk about how they “wish they could”.   

Maybe Shoshana doesn’t see herself like this, but it’s what I see as a fan.  When she sings a song, that song gets 100% of her talent.  Not that she doesn’t have off days, we all do.  This part might be weird, but I love that she’s had some serious screw ups lol Caught in a trap door during a live performance because you didn’t stand on mark correctly and caused the whole production of Wicked to be stopped so that you can be fixed?  Yep.  She’s not perfect (just like me, I know you’re shocked by that.) But it didn’t make her say “Well, I can’t even hit a mark right, I shouldn’t be in show business.”  Last semester I failed a class.  Royally failed the class.  I kept going though, marked it up as a failure and kept going.  For about three hours I considered quitting school because I obviously couldn’t handle it.  But I had a dream that I needed to chase and failing one class was only going to stop me if I gave it permission to stop me.  So, I didn’t.  I have to retake it, and that will set me back by an entire semester…but that’s fine.  It’s MY dream to chase, and I will succeed.   

I saw this on Twitter not long ago “If you really wanted to, you would.”

Powerful, humbling, and very very true.

Enjoy this beautiful song from Shoshana Bean!

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